She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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