Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
