whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
