in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
