you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
