I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
