what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
