i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
