it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Come see our sink grown plant.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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