all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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