im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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