dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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