i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize