Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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