There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
