i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
