ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
