Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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