I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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