Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize