I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize