I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
