Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
