I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I love having hate sex.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
