he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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