There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
