the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
