What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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