The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
