so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Fuck appropriateness.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
