You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
