I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
