Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize