Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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