one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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