I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
