am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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