It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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