They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I am spending my child support on dildos
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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