sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
