I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize