I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
