its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
