Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I got her a Nickelback box set.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
