Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
