There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
