so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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