I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize