I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
