I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
