I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
