Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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