I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
