Someone shit on the floor
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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