i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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