I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
