The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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