I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
