In America we eat man semen.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can you bring me the toilet please
third nipple confirmed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
