How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
