i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
