why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
