so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize