I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
