He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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