Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
