So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I want a musical about memes.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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