She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
