I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
