this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
